The living church of Jesus Christ includes all generations. It makes sense then that, even as local churches work to intentionally reach younger persons, healthy congregational ministry will bridge the gap between persons of different ages. Now, I know of many congregations who do this with excellence. But some seem to have great difficulty, be it a youthful church plant with few elder members or the established church that lost their younger families long ago.
Why do many struggle with this?
One problem I’ve observed is control. Often in an established church, long tenured members mark their turf, those areas of ministry they control. What began as well-intentioned service for Christ evolved over time into the subject of pride. And when this happens, there’s no room for newer, younger church members to plug in.
Then there’s the opposite, those who have been hurt by the above scenario, or other church issues, who plant or join the “anti-church”. Theirs will be the church that fixes all the problems caused by the “old guard” at their former church. But in doing so they also cut themselves off from a source of wisdom God intends for His body.
Honest misunderstanding is another problem. Generational miscommunication is nothing new. In every era there’s been those older persons who looked at their children and grandchildren with bewilderment, and vice versa. But what begins as honest misunderstanding can devolve into something worse when people act towards one another based on stereotypes and assumptions rather than genuine communication.
And, finally, there are some people who are just unwilling to yield their preferences in order to build intergenerational relationships. It’s easy to sit back and expect others to accommodate us in order for us to befriend them, as if we deserve it, rather than yield in deference to them.
So how do we encourage healthy intergenerational relationships, personally but especially in the church?
In a recent podcast for Tony Morgan’s The Unstuck Group, Growing Leaders CEO Tim Elmore shared results from a series of interviews with persons representative of five living generations. Asking, “What do you want from other generations as you interact with them?”, every generation prioritized humility, respect, and curiosity. “Every generation said, ‘I would love for you to approach me with respect, curious about what I might have to offer and what I might share’.”
Sound insight, worthy of application. The apostle Paul wrote in Romans 15:2, “Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up.” When Christians of all generations defer to one another on matters of preference, unifying on gospel-essentials, walls between persons fall, making room for all generations to love and learn from one another.
Blessings,
Bro. Jim